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Tweak says, "Jenny, what's the problem?"

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BRYAN KRISTOPHERSON CHALKER ([info]bchalker) wrote,
@ 2011-04-24 14:36:00

Previous Entry  Add to memories!  Tell a Friend!  Next Entry
Current mood: overjoyed
Current music:Handle With Care | Traveling Wilburys

022
I have got so much glitter on my hands. I never knew that painting eggs could be such a huge artistic endeavor, but June thought differently. There's probably glitter in my hair, too. This is going to be the first Easter dinner I go to, looking sparkly. But probably not the last.

Oh, and to all those people that my mother has been annoying with news about me, I'm so sorry. I swear that I do not take after her. You will never find me waving any kind of metaphorical banners, announcing updates about my life. I think Ma just thinks we're on some kind of reality show, all the time... Even though she would never watch one of those. I wouldn't either.

(Post a new comment)


[info]patrick_chalker
2011-04-24 10:17 pm UTC (link)
I'm pretty sure I overheard June talking to Neah and referring to you as a "unicorn." You might wanna get that glitter under control, Bro.

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[info]bchalker
2011-04-25 03:03 am UTC (link)
I took a shower. It seems to be shampoo resistant!

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[info]patrick_chalker
2011-04-25 03:24 am UTC (link)
Sandblaster? Belt sander?

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[info]bchalker
2011-04-25 03:37 am UTC (link)
My hair is not a Wood Shop project!

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[info]patrick_chalker
2011-04-25 12:48 pm UTC (link)
I'm just trying to be helpful! The stuff seems to be really stuck there in that big ol' glittery unicorn mane of yours. Maybe the only way to get rid of it is to bleach it, or shave your head.

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[info]bchalker
2011-04-25 10:15 pm UTC (link)
Hey, at least the ladies like it, stupid nickname aside. I would never, ever shave or bleach my hair. It's part of my legacy. My mystique.

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[info]patrick_chalker
2011-04-26 03:35 am UTC (link)
The ladies? The ladies like your sparkly unicorn hair?

Just so you know, using words like "legacy" and "mystique" do not make you sound any less unicorn-like.

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[info]bchalker
2011-04-26 04:17 am UTC (link)
Yes. Are you surprised? I was quite popular, when they noticed this morning.

I walked right into that one.

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[info]patrick_chalker
2011-04-26 05:53 am UTC (link)
Ah, yes. Those ladies. That's cool, then.

You might be able to pull off being bald.

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[info]bchalker
2011-04-26 06:08 am UTC (link)
What ladies did you THINK I meant?!

I know I could, but that doesn't mean I should. I like my hair. I figure I've only got five or so more years before it starts going gray. I want to enjoy it.

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[info]patrick_chalker
2011-04-26 01:36 pm UTC (link)
Usually, when someone refers to "the ladies," they're not referring to their girlfriend and their kid. You know, the other ladies. The ladies of the world? I don't know.

Oh, ouch. Five years? God, you're old. I guess when you put it that way, you should also be lucky you haven't started to go bald against your will yet.

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[info]bchalker
2011-04-26 05:28 pm UTC (link)
Fiancée and kid. And I don't know how the other ladies think of me. I haven't asked them.

Thank god we're blessed with good hair genes. I don't think we have to worry about baldness. Which is good, because grayness is bad enough. Maybe I'll take after Grandpa Kristopherson, though. The silver hair worked for him.

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[info]patrick_chalker
2011-04-27 04:59 pm UTC (link)
Right, right. Fiancée and kid. That whole marriage thing you were talking about. Best to keep the glittering and the sparkling to yourself, to save from any public embarrassment. You don't want to tarnish the family name. Or glitter-ify it, either.

Ma does have that one bald brother, though. Uncle Jim. And doesn't baldness run with the ladies in the family? Fuck if I know I'd rather not think about it. You'll be lucky if you take after Grandpa K. That dude was a silver fox, in the least gay way possible.

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[info]bchalker
2011-04-28 11:33 pm UTC (link)
Doing my best to not be annoying, I swear. Besides, I think Ma's doing the whole annoying thing way better than I ever could. Pretty sure the family name is already tarnished, Bro.

Great, now I'm paranoid about my hair. Thank you very much.

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[info]alex_chalker
2011-04-25 07:25 pm UTC (link)
Congrats.

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[info]bchalker
2011-04-25 10:16 pm UTC (link)
Thanks. That means a lot, coming from you.

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[info]alex_chalker
2011-04-26 12:00 am UTC (link)
It does?

Okay then.

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[info]bchalker
2011-04-26 12:20 am UTC (link)
How are things going with you?

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[info]alex_chalker
2011-04-26 12:21 am UTC (link)
They're going. Still married and pregnant.

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[info]bchalker
2011-04-26 02:14 am UTC (link)
Still happily both?

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[info]alex_chalker
2011-04-26 02:22 am UTC (link)
Yes. But achy too.

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[info]bchalker
2011-04-26 04:18 am UTC (link)
When are you due? I should know this!

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[info]alex_chalker
2011-04-26 04:30 am UTC (link)
August 18th.

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[info]bchalker
2011-04-26 05:13 am UTC (link)
I will put that in the dusty filing cabinet that is my brain and remember it.

Damn, that's really not that long from now!

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[info]alex_chalker
2011-04-26 05:21 am UTC (link)
115 days.

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[info]bchalker
2011-04-26 06:10 am UTC (link)
Well, when you put it like that...

Are you nervous? Excited? Ready to have him out of you?

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[info]alex_chalker
2011-04-26 06:15 am UTC (link)
All of thee above at varying levels depending on the time of day and location.

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[info]bchalker
2011-04-26 05:33 pm UTC (link)
I know what you mean.

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[info]alex_chalker
2011-04-26 05:34 pm UTC (link)
I'm not sure you do.

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[info]bchalker
2011-04-26 05:36 pm UTC (link)
Well, not personally! Shit. But I can understand. It makes sense to me.

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[info]alex_chalker
2011-04-26 05:38 pm UTC (link)
It can make sense but I think the only way someone can understand it is to be pregnant. Which you'll never be.

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[info]bchalker
2011-04-26 05:42 pm UTC (link)
That is true... Unless I'm abducted by a strange alien race.

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[info]alex_chalker
2011-04-26 05:42 pm UTC (link)
And if that were the case you could just keep that little secret to yourself.

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[info]bchalker
2011-04-26 05:44 pm UTC (link)
I definitely would. How humiliating!

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